


you're a sky full of stars

by artsyleo



Series: comfortember 2020 [15]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Army, Astrology, Boys In Love, Crying, Domestic Fluff, Emotional, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memories, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: comfortember prompt day 15 - campfireben and callum go camping with lexi, and the stars bring back some memories for callum
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: comfortember 2020 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995826
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	you're a sky full of stars

Seeing the stars above him- it’s not exactly a familiar sight to Callum, but it’s one he knows somewhat. He’s a city boy by heart, always brought up in the middle of it all, where you were accompanied by nothing but blank, dark skies at night, and a bright moon if you were lucky. Going on tour had been the shock for him- going from nothing to  _ everything _ , skies full of clear, bright stars, sometimes even sightings of the milky way, if you were lucky. If you managed to get away from the lights of the camp it was all so clear you could trace out constellations between the stars, map out every single one available. 

They had, him and Chris, many a time. Chris had been from the country back at home, so he was somewhat used to clearer skies at night. He’d stolen Callum away once, a couple nights after they’d gotten to the camp, and they’d gone just away from the lights, where it was still safe but far enough away that the lights didn’t bother them. He’d told Callum to close his eyes, and lie on the ground. He’d complained that it would be dusty, but Chris had just laughed at him, shoved him down instead. The ground was cold here, now the sun had long set, but somehow it was better with Chris. That, Callum still remembers clear as day. After a minute or so he’d whispered  _ open your eyes _ , and so he did. 

It was like magic to him. 

He’d never really gone out of London as a kid- they didn’t really have enough money for holidays for most of his childhood. So,  _ fuck _ , that view had been something he never could have imagined. 

Stars, covering almost every inch of the sky, some brighter and sparkling, some duller, nestled between others. Each one taking up it’s own place, becoming part of something bigger. Each one with it’s own place among everything else, like everything was right where it was supposed to be, like nothing would look right without it. It was a feeling Callum had never understood, maybe, until then- the idea of belonging somewhere, belonging alongside someone else. He’d started to get it with Chris. 

Callum hadn’t been able to say anything when he’d first seen it. He’d been stunned into silence for minutes, but Chris hadn’t laughed at him like he’d somewhat expected him to, just let him be for a minute. Then he’d started pointing it all out, a delicate finger tracing pictures into place in the sky, pictures that formed stories of another time, and it fascinated Callum- the thought that someone else, all those centuries ago, had looked up at this same sky and seen so much clear beauty in it, seen the stories of their reality in the stars.

It was overwhelming to say the least, and he’d felt stupid when tears traced onto his cheeks, but if Chris had noticed he hadn’t said anything. Instead, he’d shifted slightly closer to Callum, and their fingers touched, just the slight connection of skin against skin. 

He hadn’t forgotten that feeling for years. 

The feeling comes back to him now, now that he’s back staring up at a similar sky. It’s not the same, obviously- it’s only the British countryside, and not too far out of London, so there’s still those hints of light pollution from the city, but it’s clearer than he’s seen in years back in Walford. There’s obvious stars, obvious enough that he can start to map out patterns that he recognises, constellations that he remembers from all those years ago. Once he’s got his eyes on it he can’t move them away, and he loses track of reality for a while, until there’s familiar arms coming to wrap around his waist, hold him close. There’s warm breath on his neck too, and a kiss is pressed there. That delicate touch, it could only be Ben. 

He takes in a breath, like he’s about to say something, until he turns a little and freezes. 

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Ben whispers, worried voice careful in his ear, and it takes that for Callum to realise that he’s crying. 

“Shit,” he says, with a little laugh, and brings a hand up to swipe across his cheek. Ben loosens his arms and comes to stand in front of him. “Nothing- It’s not really sad tears. Just memories.” 

Ben nods a little, even though he still looks unsure, so Callum just pulls him in- partially because he’s not sure if he can look at Ben while he says this. So he watches the stars instead, and lets it all go. 

“Chris- uh, he used to show me the stars when we were out on tour in the army. I’d never really seen them before, ‘cause I didn’t really leave London when I was a kid. And it’s just- it’s  _ so different  _ out there. You can see everything so clearly and I just- I loved it. One of the first nights we got out there he waited until we had downtime and he took me a little out of the camp, and made me lie on the ground. He lay down next to me and just told me to open my eyes- there was just  _ so much _ . He told me all the constellations and stuff, all the planets that you could see out there. That was the first time I’d felt something for him.” 

It feels like release, like admitting something that he’s never been able to tell anyone. He’s been in denial all these years but he can see it now, the way everything between them had traced back to that moment. His voice is quiet when he speaks again, like he’s whispering secrets. 

“We lay out there for hours over the tour. I held his hand the last time. It was our thing.” 

Ben’s silent against him for a minute, before he pulls away slightly. “He sounds like an amazing man.” 

The words, however simple, make him smile- it’s one of the things that him and Ben have in common. People in their pasts that they loved and lost, people who they wish they’d been more honest with. It’s that that makes them know each other better. 

“He was,” Callum replies, tearing his eyes away from the sky for a minute, to look into Ben’s eyes, and there’s the exact same beauty reflected in them. “Thank you, for just letting me talk. I’ve never really told anyone about that.”

“Well, thank you for telling me,” Ben smiles gently, letting a hand come up to stroke over Callum’s cheek, a soft thumb under his eye. “I’m so proud of you.” 

Callum doesn’t know what to say in response to that, but he doesn’t have to, not when Lexi’s running up towards them and shoving herself between the two of them. 

“Come on!” she shouts excitedly. “Jay said the campfire’s ready!” 

The two of them turn back to where they’ve been set up for most of the day, one big tent pitched there, and as promised there’s a campfire burning just to the side of it, Jay standing behind looking proud. 

“Come  _ on _ !” Lexi cries again, fake-irritation in her voice as she yanks on Ben’s arm. “We’ve even got marshmallows!” 

“Alright, come on then baby,” Ben says eventually, and Lexi runs back towards the fire. Ben turns back around to face him. “You alright to come over, or do you want a few more minutes? I don’t mind either way, babe.” 

The simple acceptance of him makes his chest ache. “Nah, that’s okay. Let’s go.” 

Ben watches him for a couple of seconds, as if to make sure that that’s really what he wants, then smiles up at Callum and takes his hand in his, warm together. 

-

“Dad, I wanna sing campfire songs!” 

It’s the first time Lexi’s ever been camping, so she’s not to be blamed for her enthusiasm. It’s endearing, really, just how excited she is about it all. Callum’s fairly sure that he’s not the only one that hears Ben groan. 

“Well I ain’t singing princess, sorry,” Ben laughs, hauling Lexi closer to him where she’s sat on his lap. 

“ _ Daaaaad!” _ she groans, then turns her smiling face on Callum. “Cal, do  _ you _ know any campfire songs?” 

The question catches him off guard, and Ben looks back at him in that way he always does when he thinks that Lexi’s pushed it a little too far. Maybe it’s because of him opening up about Chris earlier, or talking about the army, and the fact that Ben’s that worried about him makes his chest ache again. 

“I do know one, Lex, although I don’t think you’ll know it,” Callum smiles, and Lexi gasps happily at him. Ben smiles as well, and there’s a cheer from Jay and Lola on the other side of the fire. Lexi jumps off Ben’s lap and races over to him, shifting onto his lap as he pulls her to settle there. 

He looks over to Ben, and he’s smiling at him with such love in his eyes, and it fills him with the confidence he needs to start. 

It comes from the same place as all of those memories of Chris from earlier. It’s an old song he remembers them singing around the campfire, familiar. He doesn’t really have to think about the lyrics, they just kind of- come to him. He closes his eyes at some point, sinks into it’s familiarity. 

When he’s done, there’s silence for a second or two before they cheer him, Lexi bouncing on his knee in excitement. He opens his eyes and Ben’s watching him, and if it’s possible there’s even more love in Ben’s eyes when he catches them than before, and pride. He’s clapping too, and gets up out of his chair to come and wrap his arms around Callum’s shoulders. 

“I love you,” he whispers in his ear, then presses a kiss to his temple. “So much.” 

“That was awesome, Cal!” Lexi says. “Can we have marshmallows now?” 

Ben laughs and nods to her, and she runs off in the direction of the tent behind them. Ben shifts further in front of him and connects their lips, even if Jay and Lola jeer the two of them. 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you could sing?” Ben whispers after they pull away. 

Callum laughs. “Never came up.”

“Will I ever stop discovering things about you, Callum Highway?” 

Callum can only smile. “Never.” 

Ben never wants to either. 

**Author's Note:**

> okay i so desperately want to know more about chris and callum in the army because personally i need to see that conversation between ben and callum a la stuart and rainie the other day like real emotional communication i just need that so i wrote it oops  
> i hope yall enjoyed this lovely peeps, comments and kudos mean the world to me, lots of love  
> leo x (tumblr is artsy-highway if you also want to come and scream abt the idea of a callum and chris conversation w me)


End file.
